Awake
by miss atari
Summary: The young boy had shown up like he promised, despite the rain. - Songfic. Yoite/Miharu. Shonen-ai.


**second attempt at both a songfic and this ship, so please, by all means, enjoy.**

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_Awake,  
- Secondhand Serenade.  
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The rain circled his still form, arms tightly wound his chest. Tipping his head down, the water trickled from the brim of his hat to mix with the tearshaped droplets falling from the sky. He didn't like exactly like the rain, but over the last few months it had become somewhat soothing to the young Kira user. The soft pelting against metal as it danced delicately off the roof of the discarded train car that he had become accustomed to spending time in. The faint markings on the windows as it trailed down the glass towards the ground. It was inviting and almost warm.

Shivering, he curled into himself as his eyes closed, the soft padding of feet against the wet earth approaching him from behind. His heart skipped a beat and for a moment, he could do nothing but try to recollect himself. He knew who it was, though he wished he didn't.

[ _With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes_ ]  
[ _I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do._ ]  
[ _**You're an angel disguised.**_ ]

"Y-Yoite?" Miharu's voice slashed through the rain, evading his thoughts.

The young boy had shown up like he promised, despite the rain.

Stopping short of the sixteen year old, Miharu sighed softly. He anticipated the conversation they would share, knew the exact things he would say in response to Yoite's begging. As much as he hated to admit it, Miharu had grown fond of the teenager that had previously vowed to destroy him. The thought of no longer having Yoite around was unfathomable, and every time he tried to consider fulfilling his desire, Miharu felt the urge to cry.

"Miharu," his voice was sullen, lost and distant, "have you thought about it more?"

"Mm," the younger male hummed.

"Well, have you decided?" Yoite turned around, hands gliding down his torso and into the pockets of his black exterior. Hoping for Miharu to give a positive answer, he walked toward the other, azure optics settled on his young cohort. Yoite trembled softly, stopping inches before the boy. The rain picked up speed, engulfing them like clouds covering the moon.

Giving Yoite a full view of his cheek, the Shinrabanshō holder held his ground, teeth digging into his bottom lip as Yoite narrowed his eyes on him. Miharu lied, he hadn't put any thought into his desire, actually. He had purposely forgotten to think about Yoite's request, ultimately denying himself the right to feel comfortable.

It had been nearly two days since they last spoke, two trying days. Miharu had done everything in his power to not think about Yoite, to not think about how he gripped his wrist when he brought Miharu closer to him. For whatever reason, it appeared to the younger ninja that Yoite was dealing with his own personal struggle. One aside from having his life force sucked away. One that could quite possibly involve Miharu.

"No," his voice was small.

"Miharu, I just want to disappear…" Yoite reminded him again, like he did every day they met.

Though he'd heard it before, and though it pained him each time, Miharu couldn't face the reality of not having Yoite in his life. It hurt him more as time continued, pins sticking into his heart like a cushion. It could break any minute and Yoite wouldn't know.

Without thinking or caring, the younger male lunged forward, his arms outstretched and tightly wrapping around the other. Miharu buried his face against his chest, breathing in the scent of his coat as he pushed back the tears that had begun to surface. Yoite froze, eyes wide.

[ _And you're lying real still_ ]  
[ _but your heart beat is fast just like mine._ ]  
[ _And the movie's long over_ ]  
[ _**that's three that have passed, one mores' fine.**_ ]

Yoite brought his arms to wrap around Miharu, shakily and unstable. This was different, new and unfamiliar. He couldn't remember a time he'd been held so intimately, so close to one's heart that he could feel it in pulsing through his own body.

"I don't…" Miharu tilted his head back, emerald orbs scanning the other's worn face for something known and possibly reassuring. He didn't want Yoite to disappear, on the contrary, he wanted for them to be together, to forget about the Kira technique and the power enclosed within the young onyx haired teenager.

"Don't…? Don't what, Miharu?" Yoite's voice was soft.

A hand slid up Miharu's back, ruffling the white button up shirt adorning his torso. This little movement sent a shiver through the fourteen year old and he pressed his chest against Yoite, nuzzling the black fabric draped over his upper body. Yoite could only stare down at him in wonder, eyeing the sight of Miharu clinging to his form desperately. Not even a month ago he had tried to kill the young Shinrabanshō carrier, tried to talk himself to the top of his priority list.

Yoite was essentially a selfish person, inside and out.

"Y-Yoite," he sounded weak, "… Why?"

Miharu could feel the threatening tears dance down his cheeks, saline staining the pallid skin and getting lost in the rain. The soft sobbing could be heard underlying the obnoxious pitter patter on the train behind them. Yoite tightened his grip on Miharu, that one lone hand snaking into obsidian tresses, lightly fingering his hair in reassurance.

"I don't want to live." Straight to the point, lost, but not confused.

The choked back sob Miharu had hidden spilled forth, claiming his throat in a rough wave of misery as he shook against Yoite's chest.

On any other day, Miharu could hold keep himself composed, strong and riddled with witty comebacks to feed Yoite's wish. But, as the rain forgave them for their mistakes, Miharu couldn't help but lose himself in the midst of the older. It was all he could think to do; cry and let himself be known.

"I don't want you to disappear," the younger whispered hoarsely, curling his fingers into the wet coat. Miharu tore away from him, facing the opposite direction, eyes trained on the lonely train car that held more memories than his own home did. It had been the first place they met up, laden with secrets and idle threats. The tears poured from turquoise optics, and Yoite nearly broke listening to the pained cries of the younger male.

He hadn't thought about leaving Miharu, just about leaving behind the world that had cursed him from birth. He aspired to be nothing more than a fading memory, lost in time and talked about for years to come. Yoite wished he hadn't learned Kira, wished he hadn't done many things in life that contributed to his uncomfortable and miserable existence.

The only good thing to grace him was standing before him, back turned and visibly shaking. Miharu was the only thing he didn't regret, the only thing he would never go back on. But why hadn't he considered the boy before deciding he no longer wanted to live?

"Miharu," he closed the gap between them, slender arms loosely slinking around Miharu's thin waist and pulling him backwards, closer.

"Y-Yoite. Why…?"

"What's the point in living when you're a living death wish?" Yoite leaned down, a cheek pressed gently against the top of his head.

"What's the point in living when you're only there to grant wishes?" Miharu retaliated, turning to face the other, head tilted back and tears stopping.

"I want to disappear, Miharu." It hurt. It hurt so much.

"But.. I love you," Miharu vocalized softly, dipping his head onto the other's dripping coat. The words bounced from his mouth, fluttered to Yoite's ear and stopped, repeating themselves as he directed his gaze down to Miharu.

Had he really…?

Did he really…?

[_ Will you stay awake for me?_ ]  
[ _I don't want to miss anything._ ]  
[_ I don't want to miss anything._ ]  
[ _I will share the air I breathe_ ]  
[ _I'll give you my heart on a string_ ]  
[ _**I just don't want to miss anything.**_ ]

Though he couldn't return the words, his feelings mirrored those belonging to Miharu. His heart pounded against his chest, threatening to rip through his ribs. It could tear him in two for all he cared, and he would still be content.

Yoite leaned down slowly, azure locked on emerald, both teenagers looking directly into the other's soul. Bare, naked, revealed.

Yoite lightly brushed his lips against the soft pink flesh of Miharu's vulnerable mouth, hands tightly gripping his forearms. Miharu's eyes fluttered shut and he pushed back, pressing into the kiss as their bodies collided, mended into one.

This was all he would get.

There would be no words mimicking those he'd shared; no promises made to be broken; no more mentions of disappearing.

That's all Miharu needed as he pulled back, resting his head against Yoite's chest, the rain coming in light drizzles.

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**sucktastic OOC story is sucktastic. read and review, it's greatly appreciated.**


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